I know worrying is pointless. Worrying and fretting will not change situations, but the words and negativity of others is sometimes difficult to avoid, escape and or ignore. We desperately need work now the Selly Oak new road project is near to completion. The atmosphere on site is not as positive as I hoped, when writing my 1st August blog update. More testing times I guess. More work to try and switch off when I'm home alone. Switch off the mind from worry and negative chatter. Maybe I should start talking the worry out loud to get rid of it. Then again the neighbours already think I'm a bit strange (who isn't?), best not to add to that by walking around my flat chattering out loud to myself.
What's the worst that can happen with regard to the work front? answer: I get made redundant. What next? answer: look for another job. That means dreaded interviews. What if I can't match my salary to cover bills? answer: get two jobs (I've done this before, cleaning jobs, working as a receptionist in a nightclub while also maintaining a full time job.) What else is a worry? answer: change, new environment, new people etc. Reminder to self "change can be good, for God's sakes woman!" What if I can't get a job for ages? answer: just keep trying, or rent your flat out for a year, and action the travel dream, now that would be nice. Another note to self:: See what listening to negative others does? Convince yourself you are going to be out of a job. STOP IT!
No doubt when I get home the above will roll around my mind again, re-creating anxiety. I thought my year was getting better not so long ago. Test, tests and more tests. Please can I have a positive break through this month and have some nice, fluffy, pleasant surprise lovely things happen? I think I better re-read my previous post and get that lighter, positive attitude back. Alternatively put my fingers in my ears, say "lalalalalalalalala, I can't hear you" when the next person pours out bad luck and negative words in my direction.
Actually, I remember! Something nice has happened. A sponsor has bought me a 3-4 season sleeping bag, which was quiet expensive. I knew I needed to purchase a good sleeping bag, to keep me warm and cosy during the cold nights anticipated on the Himalaya trek. Thank you to my kind, generous sponsor. Still, would like more good luck, nice things to happen, smiles, fun and laughter, because I'm worth it (corny but very true)
What's the worst that can happen with regard to the work front? answer: I get made redundant. What next? answer: look for another job. That means dreaded interviews. What if I can't match my salary to cover bills? answer: get two jobs (I've done this before, cleaning jobs, working as a receptionist in a nightclub while also maintaining a full time job.) What else is a worry? answer: change, new environment, new people etc. Reminder to self "change can be good, for God's sakes woman!" What if I can't get a job for ages? answer: just keep trying, or rent your flat out for a year, and action the travel dream, now that would be nice. Another note to self:: See what listening to negative others does? Convince yourself you are going to be out of a job. STOP IT!
No doubt when I get home the above will roll around my mind again, re-creating anxiety. I thought my year was getting better not so long ago. Test, tests and more tests. Please can I have a positive break through this month and have some nice, fluffy, pleasant surprise lovely things happen? I think I better re-read my previous post and get that lighter, positive attitude back. Alternatively put my fingers in my ears, say "lalalalalalalalala, I can't hear you" when the next person pours out bad luck and negative words in my direction.
Actually, I remember! Something nice has happened. A sponsor has bought me a 3-4 season sleeping bag, which was quiet expensive. I knew I needed to purchase a good sleeping bag, to keep me warm and cosy during the cold nights anticipated on the Himalaya trek. Thank you to my kind, generous sponsor. Still, would like more good luck, nice things to happen, smiles, fun and laughter, because I'm worth it (corny but very true)
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| I want my Sunday walk, to clear space in my mind, get lost in a moving rhythm and music |
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